11 1/2 years after leaving the tragic abuse I was in, I have found life, and peace in the world.
I've worked hard to overcome the obsticals in my life and the demons in my soul. I have had lots of help along the way, but most of it has been an inner journey, with lots of solitude to find out who I am, and like who I see in the mirror.
I have a job I like. My children are safe and well taken care of, they are beautiful people and have healed wonderfully.
In my journey of healing, I have found the internet to be a place of great information and people who, through their unconditional acceptance of me, and where I have been in my healing, have allowed me to grow. Some people online will never know how much they helped me.
Building this web site has been one of the most helpful of all. I was able to go at my own pace, I found that I had strengths in me along the way, I used alot of my quiet time to work on here. I've had wonderful feedback from people, and that keeps me going.
I cannot tell you how scared I was when I started these pages! I worried as to whether it was too personal, would I offend anyone, or, what if anyone that knew me, but didn't know my history saw them! What I found was that I can hold my head up high and that I cannot afford to be ashamed of my past. Just in the fact that I have walked through such difficult times, means that I have something to offer others. My experiance, strength and hope!
Relationships with men took me some time to sort out. I'd love to say I took a few years off from relationships and then found Mr. Wonderful, but that isn't how it was for me. I "tested the waters" a few times, but the heart has a way of knowing when you are not ready. Each relationship that I have been in has helped me to grow and the most destructive one gave me the most lessons. Trust is difficult, being vulnerable is difficult, but it is where we are the strongest, when we learn to trust ourselves.
I found that it isn't the men I need to be able to trust, it is me and my choices. To own my life and be responsible for all that I allow in it.
I hope that the people who view these pages can learn something here and help others as well, or find the strength to get out of an abusive relationship.
There is life after abuse!
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